ARTYADVENT: 15th December

Well, dear ArtyAdventers, today is GRUMPFEST:

Need I say more?

It's a rather grey day today.  And today is, in my opinion, the start of the decline of our fellow humans acting in peace and love and sharing these sentiments with others, at least until closing time on Christmas Eve. 

Folks will be starting the Christmas Run on the supermarkets, in the shops, on the roads. 

The debates over what to cook, bake, make on Christmas Day are probably nearly finished and a decision, unanimous or not, reached.  Folks'll be stocking up on all sorts of foodstuffs - to feed the 5 thousands guests they're having over on Christmas Day or Boxing Day - and also to ensure they minimise the chance of starvation for the 2 days that the shops are shut.  It can be touch and go on those 2 days.......

The supermarket sweep begins today.  It's like a scene out of the olympics, only with all sports being done in the one venue.  Folk hurdling over shopping trollies, display stands and small children.  Folk bulldozing their way through the throngs.  Folk pole-vaulting to the ice cream cabinet.  Folk rowing their way over the sea of heads to get to the bread isle.  The scrabble for the brussel sprouts.  The scrum for the turkeys. 

And not only will the shelves be cleared of vegetables, poultry, meats but folks are also going mad buying things that they don't usually eat and probably don't like, but it'll look good on the plate and folks'll be well impressed.  They won't have seen anything like it in their lives.  They won't have tasted anything like it in their lives.  Taste sensations!  Visual feasts!  Tuck right in.  You's had better tuck in.  You don't know what I went through to get those dauphinoise potatoes braised in pomegranite juice with a sprinkling of chocolate all the way from jupiter.  Tasty!

And of course, folks'll be hitting the high streets and shopping malls to collect, or, if they've not been that organised, hopefully purchase the very gift that will stave off an early death of a friend or loved one (the I'll-die-right-off-if-I-dont-have-this gift).  And woe betide the person who gets the last one on the shelf, the last one in the shop, the last one in the country.  They'll be mobbed by the Angry Disappointeds who didn't get to that shelf, or shop or had the forsight to hijack the delivery truck on route to said shop.

And of course, the roads will be busy - folk in a goddarn hurry trying to overtake and run off the road the folk who are just out to get some fresh air, or who are a bit lost and don't know what lane they're meant to be in.  And not forgetting the other folks who are just doddery, doddering along, in la la land, completely oblivious to the chaos and impending doom around them.  And yes, these FreshAir Folk  and the Lost Ones and the Dodderers were ALL born for the VERY PURPOSE of slowing down the Hurry  folks.  They know fine well what they're doing.  O yes they do.......

And the car parks - well, that's an experience all unto itself.  O yes indeedy - peace and goodwill to all EXCEPT the horror who just nicked that car parking space that you've been sitting here patiently for, holding up all the traffic for, cos you NEED to park in THAT VERY car park space.  No other parking space will do.  None.  It HAS to be THAT one.  Why should YOU walk further to the store than them in the red car?  

Ahhhhh, the joys. 

Peace and goodwill to all........who, exactly, and for how long....?????

Bah humbug. 

I'm staying in bed..................